War on Christmas

The vanguard party of the revolutionary War on Christmas takes the respite of the last few moments before the final battle to inform the proletariat, for whom it is fighting on behalf of (that's mostly you, Nick and Ken), of the status of our glorious struggle.

On the whole our struggle has been successful. The disgusting icons of the bourgeois Christmas state have been smashed and subverted to conform to our revolutionary ideals.


That is not to say that there has not been resistance. Indeed, as the futility of their untenable strategic position becomes obvious, our enemies among the dictatorship of the bourgeois have begun to fight with increasing savagery.


However, we have had some surprising additions to our valiant and correct war; class traitors have joined us from even the highest levels of the oppressor's systems of control.


We are close to victory, comrades! But it is now, at the very moment of our triumph that we must not shrink from the use of any weapon no matter our reservations.


Nor can we afford to neglect any tactic that will assure our success, no matter how questionable we find it.


Soon, our Post-Christmas world will become a reality!


Forward, comrades, into tomorrow, into the future!

Walking through walls in the heart of December

Seattle continues to be devastated by snow storms since Thursday morning. Needless to say I have taken advantage of this enforced time off from work by playing computer games and drinking beer. I also saw a sweetass bus crash from my parking lot that involved a tour bus crashing through a guard wall and dangling over a highway. Having done nothing for the past four days I have nothing interesting to say and will instead make this another Portishead Appreciation Station post.

Mysterons, performed live at Roseland in NYC, 1997:

Up the River

UP THE RIVER is a COMPLETE CAMPAIGN for Unhallowed Metropolis. Narrators are cordially invited to utilize this travelogue for the further Edification of their Friends and Players in the matter of the FEARSOME and SAVAGE BORNEO JUNGLE. Disease, DEATH and GHOULISH HEAD HUNTERS are but a few of the Natural Wonders that await Players who choose to EXPLORE the other side of the World.
UP THE RIVER is best explored over the course of Several Sessions, and comprises a Campaign in Miniature for the Narrator's use, certain to DELIGHT the discerning Player. UP THE RIVER will be available as a pay-to-download supplement on www.eos-press.com and www.newdarkage.net Additionally, the campaign is accompanied by Pre-Generated Characters, New Items and a new Calling for Unhallowed Metropolis: THE EXPLORER.

Up the River, written by Simon Berman and illustrated by Robert Tritthardt, will be available in early 2009.

Simon will be premiering Up the River at Temple Con in February.

http://www.templecon.org/09/

To Kill a Dead Man

Portishead Appreciation Station Part 1.

A short film made by the band prior to the recording of Dummy. To Kill a Dead Man stars and was scored by the band and was something of a commercial to record labels.

Ninety-six below the wave

Just wanted to confirm to all three people who read my blog and already know that I will be attending Templecon in Providence, RI this February 6-8th where I will be premiering/promoting Up the River. For those not familiar, this is the Unhallowed Metropolis campaign I've been working on since September. The art is being produced now and the campaign will be being published sometime this winter as a pay-to-download pdf on www.newdarkage.net

More details when we have some official press for this up on the main website.

I intend to arrive in Providence on Wed the 4th and be hospitalized for alcohol poisoning no later than Friday evening prior to having to run the first session of my campaign.

I leave you all with the thought that an inappropriate leer is worth a thousand words.

Better of Two Evils

Yesterday I found out that WA state has absurdly lax gun laws. In fact, to acquire a conceal and carry permit here all one needs to do is not be a felon.

Needless to say this means I will be fulfilling my destiny to be The Worst Liberal and getting a handgun.

I am down to two probable candidates, a Glock 23 .40 is winning out based on price but I would also kind of like a 1911. Input is welcome (mandatory)!

The Direst Troll

The final word in arguing on the internet:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning-Kruger_effect

Peak Whiteness

Dragging a field in Florida with a John Deere while listening to Wu-Tang Clan on an Ipod.

farmhacks.blog

Today while I was helping my dad with his fields, I realized that it would be more efficient if the hoe and the rake could be combined into a single tool. To achieve this goal I detached the rake-head from its shaft and then fitted it onto the butt end of the hoe's shaft, thereby creating an awesome "rake-hoe" or "hoe-rake" if you prefer. This is just the first of many farmhacks that I have in store and I will be posting detailed instructions on how to perform the Rake-Hoe hack yourself. Please subscribe to my blog as I rename it farmhacks.blog and get in early on what will be the cornerstone of the farmhacks community in the blogosphere.

I don't take lip from a slut

http://www.repo-opera.com

Godspeed You! Black President

http://thisfuckingelection.com/

Shut up and buy

Go buy No Quarter 21 to see my Gen Con interviews and article lead-ins; also the brief descriptions of a few of the new Metamorphosis models. Then write lengthy letters to the editor complimenting my amazing literary skills. Thanks in advance.

My second request is probably also going to go unfulfilled but would be appreciated nonetheless. I need some quotes from the Victorian or early Edwardian period relating to exploration, sea voyages, South Seas cannibalism and tropical disease. Quotes can be from real people, poems, or anything written during that period. Anyone who gives me a quote that I end up using will have the dubious honor of being immortalized as an NPC in something I write in the future.

Also, if anyone has books or films regarding the Weimar period in Germany I am very interested for research purposes right now.

Chopped and Screwed

A lot of my current projects are finished/nearing final revisions so I'm taking a couple of nights off writing. To answer the inevitable questions, you'll be able to see a little bit of my stuff in No Quarter 21 in November, but I have significantly more interesting articles in NQ 22. My Unhallowed Metropolis stuff is nearing completion as well. Looks like it's gonna be a pretty big supplement when all is said and done.

I've also recently got back in touch with my old friend John Meagher. He's hopefully going to be working with Hack and I on some game stuff we're working on (non-PP or UnMet). He's got an ongoing audio fantasy book, Tales of the Left Hand for free download here: www.area42games.com/TotLH-podcast
The chapters are available as MP3s and PDFs. Buy some gaming crap while you're there!

Time for some promethazine and codeine.

Big in Japan

Welcome home to the end of the world

How did I not know this is already in theaters?

http://www.apple.com/trailers/independent/cthulhu/

http://www.cthulhu-themovie.com/

Never Forget

SQUIDULA

...it's not a problem...it's a situation!

Pro click zone:

Game Development 101

1. Get drunk.
2. Blather in the direction of Jason Soles.
3. Publish.

Mega-Terra-Genkhan

Now I sleep until I die.

Wall Street Journalistic Integrity

http://www.sadlyno.com/archives/10322.html

Furthermore, onlinebeerbellygirl registered the same day Amy Chozick posted the question, has a private e-mail address, doesn't use that handle anywhere else on the internet, and has not posted anything since answering Chozick's question.

Thank god the fourth estate is there to report the hard hitting facts.

Hands up, who here was informed that there's an enormous war in the Caucasus right now? :)

See you kids at Gencon.

Blogpocalypse

It's been a crazy month or so which is why I've been posting less than usual. The highlights being the imminent pre-release launch of Monsterpocalypse at Gencon and the subsequent tornado of destruction that has followed in the PP warehouse. The con's in three days, all our crap is en route and I leave for Indy on Tue morning with the setup crew for our booth.

That's why I've been exhausted from my actual day job and the reason I'm still too busy/fried to post much here is because I have been writing like a motherfucker. I just found out this past week that I'll be writing an aprox. 6,000 word article for an upcoming issue of No Quarter. Don't bother asking what it's about, I'm not allowed to say anything (as usual).

Also of note, I'd like to pimp a little for Jason Soles' side project game "Unhallowed Metropolis." The reason for this unsolicited free advertising is that aside from the fact that it's the coolest RPG setting I've seen since Delta Green or 2nd Ed. V:tM, I'm awaiting final confirmation of approval for the 17,000 word scenario I will be writing for it. So, go buy this game because it's awesome and also so it remains a profitable endeavor which I can leech off of. www.newdarkage.net for more information. Check it out, it's seriously cool stuff.

I'll be at the RAM around 8-9PM on Wed for anyone attending Gencon and I'll be sure to catch up with you dudes either then or later in the week.

Wherever I May Rove

07/10/2008 - Rove avoids subpoena by fleeing the country.

"This morning, Karl Rove refused to appear before the House Judiciary Committee to testify about the politicization of the Justice Department, despite a subpoena. During the hearing, Rep. Chris Cannon (R-UT) revealed that Rove had not only skipped out of the hearing, but had skipped out of the entire country."

Big Indymac Attack!

My primary disappointment in the fact that we are apparently slowly re-entering the 1930s is that I don't look good in hats.

In other news, if you purchase a Jeremiah Kraye this summer I likely cast his horse. Also, the dudes Hierarch Severius is standing on. Maybe Epic Madrak too, but he's kind of a bitch to cast and I'm not very good yet so I mostly throw those back in the pot.

Statistical Analysis

231.93 ºC

For those interested in such things, my 90 day review at Privateer has occurred and I've received a raise and will be training as a caster at least part time. Hooray for liquid metal!

Brand New You're Retro

From cnn.com:

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- The Bush administration has launched a "significant escalation" of covert operations in Iran, sending U.S. commandos to spy on the country's nuclear facilities and undermine the Islamic republic's government, journalist Seymour Hersh said Sunday.

White House, CIA and State Department officials declined comment on Hersh's report, which appears in this week's issue of The New Yorker.

Hersh told CNN's "Late Edition with Wolf Blitzer" that Congress has authorized up to $400 million to fund the secret campaign, which involves U.S. special operations troops and Iranian dissidents.

President Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney have rejected findings from U.S. intelligence agencies that Iran has halted a clandestine effort to build a nuclear bomb and "do not want to leave Iran in place with a nuclear program," Hersh said.

"They believe that their mission is to make sure that before they get out of office next year, either Iran is attacked or it stops its weapons program," Hersh said.

The new article, "Preparing the Battlefield," is the latest in a series of articles accusing the Bush administration of preparing for war with Iran. He based the report on accounts from current and former military, intelligence, and congressional sources.

"As usual with his quarterly pieces, we'll decline to comment," White House spokesman Gordon Johndroe told CNN.

"The CIA, as a rule, does not comment on allegations regarding covert operations," CIA spokesman Paul Gimigliano said.

Ryan Crocker, the U.S. ambassador in Baghdad, denied U.S. raids were being launched from Iraq, where American commanders believe Iran is stoking sectarian warfare and fomenting attacks on U.S. troops.

"I can tell you flatly that U.S. forces are not operating across the Iraqi border into Iran, in the south or anywhere else," Crocker said.

Hersh said U.S. efforts were staged from Afghanistan, which also shares a border with Iran.

He said the program resulted in "a dramatic increase in kinetic events and chaos" inside Iran, including attacks by Kurdish separatists in the country's north and a May attack on a mosque in Shiraz that killed 13 people.

The United States has said it is trying to isolate Iran diplomatically in order to get it to come clean about its nuclear ambitions. But Bush has said "all options" are open in dealing with the issue.

Iran insists its nuclear program is aimed at providing civilian electric power, and refuses to comply with U.N. Security Council demands that it halt uranium enrichment work.

U.N. nuclear inspectors say Tehran held back critical information that could determine whether it is trying to make nuclear weapons.

Israel, which is believed to have its own nuclear arsenal, conducted a military exercise in the eastern Mediterranean in early June involving dozens of warplanes and aerial tankers.

The distance involved in the exercise was roughly the same as would be involved in a possible strike on the Iranian nuclear fuel plant at Natanz, Iran, a U.S. military official said.

In 1981, Israeli warplanes destroyed an Iraqi nuclear reactor.

Iran's parliament speaker, Ali Larijani, warned other countries against moves that would "cost them heavily." In comments that appeared in the semi-official Mehr news agency Sunday, an Iranian general said his troops were digging more than 320,000 graves to bury troops from any invading force with "the respect they deserve."

"Under the law of war and armed conflict, necessary preparations must be made for the burial of soldiers of aggressor nations," said Maj. Gen. Mirfaisal Baqerzadeh, an Iranian officer in charge of identifying soldiers missing in action.

It's gonna be awesome when the Bush administration pushes us into an untenable military position in Iran and then hands the reigns over to Obama so that in 2012 the republicans can point to how bad our situation in Iran is and fault the democrats. :)

But at least I'll be 30 and won't be drafted to stop an IED with my face 3 clicks outside of Teheran. :)

On a different note!

My blog continues to be too shitty to post useful links, but anyone looking for an interesting and depressing documentary regarding the Belgian Congo of the 19th century should search google video for BBC's "White King, Red Rubber, Black Death." I know everyone is probably sick to death of hearing about African misery but this is a compelling look at the worst of colonialism.

These Summer Scum-holes

It's going to be light out for 18 hours here tomorrow. That is fucking crazy. In other news, "Outside" continues to be David Bowie's most underrated album and it still rules the school.

The Weather Underground

Between finishing writing test pieces for work and being out all weekend I have (obviously) not posted in almost a week. First let me say "fuck you, fifth-grade-typing-class." It cursed me with a hardwired instinct to double-space after all sentences, a convention that is proscribed by Privateer's style guidelines document. I just did it again and went back and fixed it, god fucking damn it.

That said, I went on the Seattle Underground tour
over the weekend and it is a lot of fun. I learned about sewage, tide tables, graft and prostitution. It was a lot like Baltimore actually but with more indians.

Here is an underground toilet of mystery.



http://www.undergroundtour.com/

HYPERPOWER!

The html script on this blog totally fucking sucks so I can't link to the news that Trent Reznor is going to be releasing a Year Zero based TV show. Which could be fucking awesome.

Laziest Possible Entry

Chud's last night in NY.

Neutral Milk Hotel...

...is really dull indie rock. Sorry. I finally downloaded "In the Aeroplane Over the Sea" after years of hype and I am severely disappointed. Admittedly, there is not much in that genre that I find noteworthy but I've become a really big Sufjan Steven fan despite that fact. There are some interesting horn arrangements that start to go somewhere cool but then it dives back into what seems to be standard indie-rock fare. Maybe I just don't have the ear for it but I was underwhelmed. The Veils, on the other hand, are actually kind of cool and I am kind of digging "The Runaway Found."

Too much writing

Will attempt to post something substantial tomorrow.

To hear the lamentations of the white women

Hooray the primaries are over.

Reading Rainbow

A number of people have asked me what else I am reading and the answer is; nothing. I finished "The Terror" last night and am waiting on my Amazon order to arrive. The order consists of:

Eastward to Tartary: Travels in the Balkans, the Middle East, and the Caucasus by Robert Kaplan.

Cold Skin: A Novel by Sanchez Pinol

Black Lamb and Grey Falcon by Rebecca West

The last entry is the one I am most looking forward to. It's a travelogue of West's trip across Yugoslavia in the early 20th century. It's considered a benchmark of travel writing and is supposedly an illuminating look at the Balkans.

Distracted from blog

Because I have to write stuff for real, will post something more substantial tomorrow.

Squamous Esquimaux

I just want to plug Dan Simmon's novel "The Terror." It's really excellent historical fiction speculating on the final fate of the lost ships Terror and Erebus on their failed search for the Northwest Passage. It's got enough attention to nautical details to be authentic but never gets bogged down in tedium like a lot of tall ship-based books do. It also has esquimaux and a possibly supernatural horror gruesomely murdering dozens of sailors. I'm kind of a big jerk for fiction and non-fiction on sailing in that era but this one is a cut above.

http://www.amazon.com/Terror-Novel-Dan-Simmons/dp/0316017442

Where the buffalo roam

It was probably expected that Clinton would not announce her concession immediately but I suppose that I had dared to hope. I wonder if Obama will have to actually cut off her head and drive a stake through her heart. His speech tonight was pretty excellent, although it's sort of odd hearing actual statesman-like speeches from a living politician.

Warum Sprach Zarathustra?

I got less than three hours of sleep last night so this will be briefer than normal. That is all.

Wot's, Uh, The Deal

I downloaded the complete Pink Floyd discography on a whim this morning and am working my way forward from Piper at the Gates of Dawn. I'm starting to feel like I should invest in a heavier beard, a bong, and maybe a van with a sweet airbrushed wizard or something.

business, cattle prods and the I.M.F.

Hooray, the ridiculous MI/Fl primaries have been resolved and Obama retains his significant lead. Which was never really in question but it's one less thing for Clinton to scream about. Hopefully this will all be resolved after the 3rd. The party is really specializing in shooting itself this year but maybe they'll finally force the issue with her. I can't imagine that she'll be allowed a future with the DNC if she does drag this out until the convention in August.

How exciting to see you in traction again!

After hearing me bemoan my horrible grammar and punctuation at work today, editor Chris Bodan was kind enough to loan me "The Well-Tempered Sentence." Subtitled "A Punctuation Handbook for the Innocent, the Eager, and the Doomed," it illustrates various uses of punctuation with absurd and disturbing examples such as the title of this post.

Other favorites include:

He wanted to eat her peachy, creamy complexion with his souvenir spoon from Yellowstone park.

Dear me, how you have sacrificed your ethereal beauty for a life of greed and smut.

Come, please, and bring your brother's wife.

Visions, on the one hand, devour my brain; hyenas, on the other, feed on yours.

The Land that Summer Forgot

What the fuck people, it's 50 degrees here tonight. Goddamn Seattle and its tiny carbon footprint. I don't mind the rain and gloom but I could stand some consistently warmer weather.

Here is a picture of an octopus.

Where the Magic Happens

It has been requested that I outline a day of work at Privateer Press or as I like to call it "Arbeit Macht Fun!"

Actually, I don't have a super-typical day at work right now but I probably spend at least some time pulling product to fill orders for our distributors, the Press Gang or employee comp purchases. At some point in the day I will likely have to spot build some kits that we have a low shelf stock in to fill an urgent order. I may also pack a number of blisters or boxes for shelfstock and I will almost certainly be packing during the time each month that we process the following month's wave.

I've also been re-scanning a number of kits like the old Winterguard or Acolyte units to improve our mold books (the mold books are basically visual/written instruction manuals that demonstrate how to build every figure we produce). Basically, I function as a facilitator for a number of tasks that are necessary in production/casting/shipping.

Now I will post a picture I found at http://www.englishrussia.com/?p=723 of hilarious russian-mob tombstones.














I like to imagine that is an image of the car that hit them.

WEBLOG POSTING

I already feel like skipping a day of writing here which is unsurprising but not a good sign. So here is a post. I did get another written commendation at work though so I guess things are continuing to go well there. Still waiting to get my test-writing piece though.

I will leave you all with a picture I took in a parking lot near work recently. I feel this sums up Seattle pretty well. Werewolves and such.

MANDATORY SELF DEPRECATING I HATE BLOGS FIRST POST

A number of my friends have suggested I use a blog to stay in touch with them back on the East Coast. Normally, I would laugh and tell them to go die. However, it appears I am trying to get a job doing creative writing at work so this is probably useful enough as a daily creative writing exercise (until I start neglecting to update it after a few days.)

Also, it lets me post retarded pictures. I will now get the "show me your apartment" requests filled. Please note the nuclear blast occurring in any photo of a window, searing gamma radiation is a regular phenomenon in the greater Seattle area:

"BILLY" BOOKCASE THANK YOU IKEA














AMAZING "EXARBY" FUTON ALSO FROM SWEDES













I LOST THE MANUALS BUT
THE CHAIR HAD A DUMB NAME
AND I THINK MAYBE THE DESK
WAS CALLED A "FLARKE"
NOT KIDDING

BLESSED BE IKEA
AND
SWEDEN


















NO MORE SWEDEN THIS IS ALL AMERICAN/CHINESE
MANUFACTURED GOODS PLEASE CLOSET/WEIRD ENTERTAINMENT
STAND CRAFTED BY DRUNK FORMER HOMEOWNERS




FIVE AND A HALF MINUTE HALLWAY WITH SPECIAL CAMEO BY BILLY BOOKCASE











UNFINISHED JACUZZI AND ALSO LITTER BOX AND TOILET














THE SINK AT THE EDGE OF FOREVER













It's getting hard to format this stupid post so I think that's all for now.