Friday, May 30, 2008

How exciting to see you in traction again!

After hearing me bemoan my horrible grammar and punctuation at work today, editor Chris Bodan was kind enough to loan me "The Well-Tempered Sentence." Subtitled "A Punctuation Handbook for the Innocent, the Eager, and the Doomed," it illustrates various uses of punctuation with absurd and disturbing examples such as the title of this post.

Other favorites include:

He wanted to eat her peachy, creamy complexion with his souvenir spoon from Yellowstone park.

Dear me, how you have sacrificed your ethereal beauty for a life of greed and smut.

Come, please, and bring your brother's wife.

Visions, on the one hand, devour my brain; hyenas, on the other, feed on yours.

4 comments:

Richard Hawkins said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Richard Hawkins said...

Dear smut, have your greed for a beauty of me and sacrificed how ethereal you life.

pls.

Unknown said...

I'm actually quite surprised I hadn't come across that before. For some reason I've been getting peculiar books on grammar and manners as gifts fairly regularly since high school.

Good deal.

chani said...

you might also want to try Eats, Shoots, and Leaves. which is hilarious although slightly less inappropriate.